Saturday, January 27, 2007

Houston, WTHDABLT?

For those of you not familiar with my use of Acronyms, WTHDABLT stands for Why The Heck Does Anybody Live There. It is amazing when you go to a town several times per year and no matter how hard you try, you have a tough time finding any redeeming qualities. The town literally sucks. Okay, make that figuratively. None the less, it really sucks. Reasons to hate Houston;

  1. W's Family Lives there
  2. Kenneth Lay's Family Lives there
  3. No cohesive zoning strategies (there is a rather large adult bookstore right next to the Galleria)
  4. No good radio stations (unless you like Latino, Hip Hop, or Country)
  5. Bums at every freeway exit (even in the best part of town)
  6. No sidewalks throughout most of the town (try running in Houston)
  7. The one "good" park has only 2.9 miles of running trails. This is considered awesome in Houston.
  8. Oh yeah, they only have one "good" park
  9. More big cars per square foot than you can shake a stick at
  10. Sprawly Sprawly Sprawl Sprawl. Houston is 600 square miles in size. Greater Houston is 10062 square miles in size. And all of it is ugly.


Rocco said...

Even growing up, I used to say Louisiana could annex Houston and no one in Texas would care.

As a kid, every summer I'd go with my friends family to Houston to watch the Astros for a few games. We'd drive there. Once we got there hang out at the hotel pool and in front of the hotel cable TV, go the Astrodome for the game, and go back to the hotel to sleep. The next day we did the exact same thingg. I probably went to Houston ten times (also for soccer tournaments) and never left the hotel unless it was game time. Where would we want to go? What a crappy city.

BTY, the Bush family may reside in Texas, but they are more Connecticut and Maine than Texas. Bush 41 used to own a vacant plot of land in east Texas and used it as his mailing address. All to say a) he was Texan and b) to avoid state income tax.

Anne said...

The first time I was in Houston I asked the employee at front desk of the hotel if I should go to the Zoo or the Galleria. I had heard about the Galleria, but didn't know much about it. They sent me to the Galleria, a glorified shopping mall. Maybe I was in a weird place because it was January in Minnesota and I couldn't understand how anyone would want to go inside when it was 60 F outside, but within 30 minutes I left the Galleria for the Zoo. Houston does have a really cool zoo. They have some unique big cats and I like that all the signs are in both English and gives me a chance to learn a foreign language.

Ed Kohler said...

I have friends who would love to live in a place like you describe. Easy access to porn? Awesome. But most of them live in Wisconsin where they have easier access to animals they can kill.

Unrelated: You have some sexy bullet points.

Kirk said...

Did you notice that the bullets match the wallpaper? How cute!

Carly said...

I was in Houston last week too. I had my first (and hopefully last) visit to Houston for work. I was there for 3 days and didn't leave the hotel except for a taxi ride from IAH to the hotel and then back. The ride from the airport to the hotel was about 30 minutes each way, this was plenty of time to see all of the porn stores along the highway.

The highlight was Thursday night, when we had a Wild West themed dinner and post-dinner entertainment with line dancing lessons and group co-worker pictures dressed up in cowboy hats. Good times all while never leaving the Houstonian Hotel!